The Case of the Missing Silver

Something strange is going on around here. I was emptying the dishwasher the other day when I noticed there were no spoons to put away. Actually we have two sets, one with colorful plastic handles and one more traditional with our initial stamped on the handle. We've had the metal ones since early marriage, and now we only have three spoons left. I had noticed they were low for a while, but I thought the others were probably dirty in the dishwasher. Now I know, they are gone.

So the big question, where did they go? I thought of all the obvious options first. Maybe we threw them away when cleaning the table. I quizzed the family and we all agreed that we aren't that careless. OK, maybe someone put them away in the wrong spot. I searched every drawer in the kitchen and no rogue spoons. Could it be a thief broke in, ran past the TV, stereos and computers and whisked them away? Highly unlikely, we have a security system with a motion sensor and laser beams criss-crossing the kitchen.

That leaves only one solution. They've been raptured. Obviously not considered important enough to be included in the Bible, the great flatware rapture has begun. All the saved and sanctified spoons have gone to meet the Lord at that great banquet table in the sky. All that are left are the degenerate, sinful silverware. Every other piece in the drawer ... LEFT BEHIND. (LaHaye and Jenkins, if you write this into a bestselling twelve part series, I want a cut.)

I should be happy for the spoons, they are in a better place. But to be honest, I can't help but think of the forks and knives. None of them made the cut. What a shame.