Born This Day...

Today is the birthday of CS Lewis (author of the Chronicles of Narnia), Louisa May Alcott (author of Little Women), and Madeleine L'Engle (author of A Wrinkle In Time). Wow! If November had only 28 days like February, the world of children's literature would have a gaping hole.

This made me think. In the future, will I have accomplished anything to add my name to the "Born This Day" list? This is not a major concern to me, but it would be nice to think my efforts here made some impact that will live beyond me. I better get cracking! There are only 82 days until I turn 40.

Carpe Diem. (That's supposed to mean Seize The Day, but everybody knows that carpe is a kind of fish. Or is that crappie? Actually, I prefer flounder.)

A Kinder, Gentler Me

WARNING: The following is intended to be humorous, not sarcastic, bitter, vindictive, or the rantings of a frustrated author. If you are offended by anything that follows, well, that kind of proves my point.

I just got a rejection e-mail. I had a devotion up to be included in a new "Chicken Soup" type book by a major publisher. They loved my story but thought some readers might be offended by my "toilet" theme. My feelings weren't hurt and I think they made the right call. The thought of a Christian having to deal with a clogged toilet is about as bad as the Pope pooping (although I'm pretty sure he does or he would have gained a lot of weight by now.) My goal has never been to degrade God. My God is HUGE and I've tried to show how He is involved in all of my life, not just my Sunday mornings from ten to twelve. I'm no great theologian, but if I can make you laugh and think about God in your life, I'm satisfied.

With all this said, I do understand the need to reach a larger audience, so I've decided to change my style. From here on I'll be Phil for the masses. Here's my first attempt...

As the gentle spring breeze blows through the poppies in bloom, so the Holy Spirit brings refreshment to my parched soul.

On second thought... NOT! I'm just me, and that's who I'll be. (Hey, that rhymes!!)

Gotta run. If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom with my Bible word search book.

Two Days

I heard a great thought today in church. For Christians there are only two days - TOday and THAT day (when Christ returns).

If you do what Christ wants you to do today, you won't have to worry about what to say to Him on that day.

Invisible Man Shoes

Last night we celebrated Thanksgiving with my side of the family at my aunt's house. After a wonderful dinner (broccoli-rice casserole, YES!!!) we retired to the living room to catch up on each other's lives. I found a seat, kicked off my shoes and settled in.

A few hours later we were ready to go home. I looked down but... no shoes. I knew mischief was afoot and asked who was playing a trick on me. Nobody fessed up, so I started the search. A few minutes later I found the missing shoes. They were perfectly positioned if front of the toilet, sort of like the invisible man was taking a rest stop. This had to be the work of my youngest daughter. I questioned her, prodded and interrogated, but she kept a straight face and never once admitted to the deed.

It was a really good prank for a nine year old. I'm amazed with her on two fronts. First, how did she get my shoes out of the room with out anybody seeing her? And second, how did she get so good at lying? I'm just afraid someday when she takes those career placement tests in school, it will come back that she is best suited to be a thief or a politician.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Variety is the Life of Spice

I was reading back through my rantings from yesterday. Boy, could you tell I had a bad day or what? Actually, I don't disagree with anything I wrote, except I noticed it might appear I didn't like the new "Little Big Town" CD. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I think the boys and girls knocked it out of the park this time. Great harmony, fresh arrangements, cool instrumentation (a little slide guitar thrown in just for me??). This is a great project!!

One thing I particularly liked on this CD was the variety. Take note Christian and mainstream music world, not every song sounded just the same! There were also dynamics!! Sometimes it didn't sound like everyone was playing full bore with the compressor cranked to 10. When I finished listening I didn't feel exhausted or assaulted. I actually wanted to listen again!!! I'm not sure how radio will take to this effort, but there should be some good singles on there. Besides, why should every song on an album sound like a radio single? Sure, with iTunes and single song purchasing power of today, there is no room for the old school approach of a few good songs and the rest filler. Now each song must stand on it's own, but does that mean each song must sound alike? I don't think so. Some of my favorite songs over the years have been album cuts that were never played on the radio.

These are just my opinions, but hey, this is my blog. It's OK if you don't agree with me, you have every right to be wrong. ;-)

A Vinyl Confession

Am I getting older or is the supermarket playing great music? - seen on a T-shirt.

I bought the new "Little Big Town" CD today and I was disappointed. The music is great, it was the buying experience that left me a bit deflated. I purchased the CD on eMusic, a legal internet downloading service. I saw a picture of the CD cover on my computer screen with a list of the songs, clicked a button and about a minute later the entire project popped up in iTunes and started to play. I'll admit it is convenient to learn that new music is available and own it in mere seconds, but some of the magic has been lost in translation.

I can still remember my first experience as a music buyer. The project was "Vinyl Confessions" by the group Kansas. It was not a CD, or even a cassette, it was a record! Remember those? I can see me standing in the store aisle, holding the shiny, cellophane wrapped package. I read every word on the front and back cover while deliberating if this was worth my hard earned money. I took the plunge and waited for my mom to finished her shopping and head to the cash register. The anticipation was intense. First to wait in the checkout line, then the long car ride home holding my new treasure, as of yet unheard. The wrapping came off quickly in my bedroom and I slid the black disk into my hands. ("always hold 'em by the edge, son.") The light reflected off the grooves as I lowered the needle onto the spinning surface. The first piano notes rang out and I read along with the lyrics printed on the record sleeve. I read the names of songwriters, musicians, and thank you recipients as the music played on. It was a magical moment. I was immersed in a brand new world, words and sounds combined in a way I'd never heard before. To me, that's what music is all about.

Today I have the songs, but no lyrics, no credits, and no thank yous. No extra pictures of the band and singers. Nothing to hold in my hands. No anticipation and nothing special to take me to that other world. I miss that world. That was the place I discovered that words and notes can paint a landscape in the mind. That's where I charted the course I'm still traveling today.

Maybe I'm just getting old and sentimental. Maybe that magical world of music still exists for the young. I hope so. I keep listening for a new song from a young writer to resonate with that memory in my mind, to know that they have been to that place and brought back a souvenir for me. Nothing yet, but I'm still watching.

In the meantime, I'll keep writing from my memories there. Maybe I'll get close enough to rekindle that fire in someone else. If so, I've done my part.

Smell of the Road

Last Monday on our way home, I stopped at a roadside rest area to do what people do at roadside rest areas. When I got back in the car, Pam said I smelled like the bathroom. Since I there were no 'accidents' during my rest stop, I assumed she meant I smelled like the air freshener used in that particular restroom. (Come to think of it, I never clarified that with her. I hope I'm right!)

Fragrances in restrooms haven't always been a good subject for me. I remember my first encounter with a restroom cologne dispenser. Have you ever seen one of these? There is basically a big rotating knob with a pump button and a nozzle. You plop in a quarter, spin it around to select the desired scent, line up preferred receiving body area with nozzle and give it a pump. Sounds simple, right? Well, just a word of warning. If nothing comes out on the first pump, don't look into the nozzle to check if it is clogged while pumping again. Bad idea. Just in case you were wondering, most gas stations do have first aid kits.

There was also the church with the automatic air freshener. It was mounted on the wall at head level right next to the men's standing area. I was once again taking care of business when this thing starts to beep. Of course, I glanced over to see what was happening. Apparently the beep was an "All Clear, I'm Gonna Blow" warning. FYI, some churches don't have first aid kits.

Why is life so complicated? I just want to smell the same coming out of a restroom as I did going in.

Is This A Good Idea?

I saw an add in a magazine today left me with a Whaaaa? There is a new alcoholic beverage with a special additive - caffeine.

Caffeine???

Is this designed for people like me who don't drink coffee? In my experience, there are two main times when one wants extra caffeine - first thing in the morning to kickstart the day and late at night to stay awake while driving. I'm not a drinker, but I can't see either of these as the prime time to pop-a-top. Besides the fact that drinking and driving is illegal, if the first thing you reach for in the morning is measured in shots, get help!

I think I'll stick to tea.

iLove iPodcasts

Ok, I'll admit it. I have a new obsession. (Well, obsession might be a bit strong, but 'strong like' doesn't have the same ring.) I have discovered the world of podcasting! Podcasts are like radio shows without the radio, commercials or narrow range of topics available on the airwaves. There are podcasts on virtually any topic imaginable, plus old-fashioned radio dramas and audio books. Best of all, they are FREE! Without the limitations of trying to make something commercially viable, podcasters are free to be creative. What a great concept! Sound interesting? It's as easy as 1,2,3...

1. Open iTunes (If you aren't using iTunes, it's time to crawl out from under that rock, go to www.apple.com/iTunes/download and get your free copy)

2. Go to the iTunes store.

3. Either select "podcasts" in the top left box or type your person or area of interest in the search box.

Here are some of my personal favorites (just pick some words from the title or author and SEARCH) -

• A Prairie Home Companion's News from Lake Wobegon by Garrison Keillor (the classic radio show - just great stuff!)
• The Writer's Almanac with Garrison Keillor (a short daily account of famous people and events on this day in history plus a poem)
• Decoder Ring Theatre (if you like old time radio shows like 'The Shadow', this one's for you.)
• North Point Ministries wih Andy Stanley (great messages on very relevant modern topics)
• Summit Woods Baptist Church with Pastor Ryan Bowman (Our own pastor online!)

There are thousands to choose from, so go explore!

The Crap-o-meter

Our family was watching a movie the other night that started throwing in some touchy-feelie new age ideas. All of a sudden my daughters chimed in, "but that's not right." I was so proud!! They are noticing when something just doesn't ring true. I explained to them how the Holy Spirit gives us spiritual discernment. In order to make it understandable for children, this is what I came up with...

God puts a crap-o-meter inside us. When it starts going off, you know that what you are looking at or hearing is just that, crap. It does not go along with God's way and truth. It can come from the world and unfortunately, sometimes it can come from the pulpit. Be aware and pay attention when the alarm goes off.

That about sums up my highbrow intellectual theology - don't ignore your crap-o-meter. That will probably never make the seminary subject list, but it has saved me from bad stuff more times than I can count.

Post-It

I love Post-It notes. I use them all the time to remind me to do important things. Apparently this practice has rubbed off on my daughter as well. Tonight, when I was putting her to bed, I noticed she had a Post-It with a reminder to herself stuck on her wall.

It reads "WAKE UP."

Caught in the Act!

I just received an interesting e-mail:

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

We've noticed that customers who have purchased The Bible Series Box Set have also purchased Annie Duke's Texas Hold'em Supercourse on DVD. For this reason, ...

BUSTED!!! So it seems that folks buying Bible DVDs are also big Poker players. The news is out, it's no secret anymore. Move over basement bingo, we're putting in a craps table. How about some slot machines in the fellowship hall? No need to wear those fake glasses and phony moustaches to the river boats. No more excuses like "we just go for the all-you-can-eat buffet." How about a flashing "High Rollers and Holy Rollers Welcome Here" sign in the church yard? Who knows, we could reach a whole new crowd for the Lord.

Look at the bright side, even if church gambling doesn't pan out, we could at least install ATMs in the foyer. That should give the morning offering a real boost!