Smell of the Road

Last Monday on our way home, I stopped at a roadside rest area to do what people do at roadside rest areas. When I got back in the car, Pam said I smelled like the bathroom. Since I there were no 'accidents' during my rest stop, I assumed she meant I smelled like the air freshener used in that particular restroom. (Come to think of it, I never clarified that with her. I hope I'm right!)

Fragrances in restrooms haven't always been a good subject for me. I remember my first encounter with a restroom cologne dispenser. Have you ever seen one of these? There is basically a big rotating knob with a pump button and a nozzle. You plop in a quarter, spin it around to select the desired scent, line up preferred receiving body area with nozzle and give it a pump. Sounds simple, right? Well, just a word of warning. If nothing comes out on the first pump, don't look into the nozzle to check if it is clogged while pumping again. Bad idea. Just in case you were wondering, most gas stations do have first aid kits.

There was also the church with the automatic air freshener. It was mounted on the wall at head level right next to the men's standing area. I was once again taking care of business when this thing starts to beep. Of course, I glanced over to see what was happening. Apparently the beep was an "All Clear, I'm Gonna Blow" warning. FYI, some churches don't have first aid kits.

Why is life so complicated? I just want to smell the same coming out of a restroom as I did going in.